….because those peoples’ voices still play in my head. I have also allowed these same people to get inside my head and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t like to go anywhere except family events or to work. I feel safe there, where people know me and know I am not just a lazy slob eating 24 hours a day. What these outside people don’t know or don’t care about is their words and actions only make it worse for people like me, it makes us retreat into ourselves and stop going out in public, it triggers that demon that urges us to eat our feelings. ~ DiDi, Guilty Pleasures
I am #PerfectlyImperfect #iAmWillow
(Harper Sloan’s Perfectly Imperfect Movement)
When my daughter started her senior year of high school, I went looking for pictures to put in her senior yearbook ad. It hit me at that point…there are very few pictures of me with my daughter for the first 17 years of her life. Why? Because I have always been overweight and if I was with my family or friends I was ok, my daughter loved me and that’s all that mattered, but I didn’t want to see myself in pictures because I have let other people make me self-conscious, I didn’t want to see proof of what they were laughing at or what they were whispering about me or what little kids saw to make them say “Momma that lady is so fat.” I figured if I avoided seeing myself in pictures I could maintain my happy little bubble where I had family and friends who made me feel ok about myself. What I didn’t realize is that I was lying to myself because those outside people had gotten to me anyway, they had gotten to me so bad that I was depriving my daughter of memories of the two of us together at functions, holidays, birthdays, just living life. Her senior year I decided screw that! I will have some pictures. This is the first full body picture I allowed myself to take with her, it was senior night at the football game. That was 5 years ago, since then I have taken a few more, I still do not like to and I still avoid it, because those peoples’ voices still play in my head. I have also allowed these same people to get inside my head and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t like to go anywhere except family events or to work. I feel safe there, where people know me and know I am not just a lazy slob eating 24 hours a day. What these outside people don’t know or don’t care about is their words and actions only make it worse for people like me, it makes us retreat into ourselves and stop going out in public, it triggers that demon that urges us to eat our feelings. These are not excuses, it is true, I have written down times I eat and then times I eat for no reason and it is tied into my emotions. I am finding ways to handle the emotions without eating, but it is not easy.
One positive is I started taking selfies a couple of years ago, I decided I need to take baby steps, so my daughter taught me how to take a proper selfie. I have dark areas under my eyes that I cannot stand so it is rare for me to take one sans make up, but here are 2 that I gave in and took.
Reading PERFECTLY IMPERFECT helped me to see how hard we are on ourselves, I could identify with Willow. I think everyone should read Willow’s story and realize we all have a little of Willow inside ourselves. And that no matter what we need to love ourselves and live life to it’s fullest.
Yes I NEED to lose weight, yes I WANT to lose weight, but I have an eating disorder and have yet to find a way to battle my demons and win. I will NEVER give up and for the time being all I can do is work on being ok with me despite the ridicule and laughter from those who don’t know me. So thank you Harper Sloan for sharing part of your own story in PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!!!
One thing I have come to love is the fact that I have a personality that makes people laugh, that’s warm and caring, I’m protective of those I love, animals, elderly and children and a smile that shows in my eyes. I may not like the dark under my eyes but I do think I have a pretty face all of this makes me happy to believe I am #PerfectlyImperfect and that is perfect for me.
My Review of PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
(This review originally posted 11/17/15)
Perfectly Imperfect will inspire hope, self healing and teach you to love yourself first, so you can accept the love others have for you.
Harper Sloan, THANK YOU for writing a book that made me cry, laugh, hope to find my Kane, look at myself and also gave me the strength to be the me I used be, the me that loved myself.
#iAmWillow #LookingForMyKane ~ DiDi, Guilty Pleasures
Description:
**Standalone novel**
Mirror, mirror … who’s the fairest of them all?
I still cringe when I hear that line. A fairy tale that had girls pretending they were the fairest, the most beautiful, and the most entitled. A fairy tale most couldn’t grow out of turned my haunted childhood memories into a living nightmare. Girls who grew up believing that pile of garbage became the meanest of all ‘mean girls.’
And those mean girls were right – it was a line meant for all the beautiful people in the world – and I knew the answer would never be me.
The women with long legs, flat stomachs, and perfect chests.
The type of women Kane Masters gravitated toward.
Well, that’s definitely not Willow Tate.
No. That will never be me.
Because I’m completely imperfect.
And … I hate myself.
I have no idea what Kane could possibly see in someone like me when he could have them.
Review copy provided for an honest review
WOW! Just WOW!!!!
I’ve had weight issues all of my life, when I was younger I didn’t let it bother me. I really was 
confident because my grandmother always told me “It doesn’t matter what size you are, as long as you dress nice, take care of yourself and love yourself, you will be happy.” I was never afraid to get out on the dance floor, go out with my friends or shopping. I didn’t care if people looked at me funny. I was overweight when I got pregnant and when I had my daughter, because I loved me. Nothing ever made me doubt my worth….UNTIL Social Media became popular and all the trolls started picking on overweight people, making hateful memes/videos, videoing overweight people eating, dancing, swimming then posting them to make fun of and just being mean. Now I find myself not wanting to go out in public as much, I find myself adjusting my clothes and when I am out in public trying to fade into the background or do as much as I can to not draw attention to myself. My self doubt is becoming worse as time goes on.
Reading Perfectly Imperfect came at a great time for me. It made me open up my eyes and realize how I have let others’ opinions influence my HAPPY. Perfectly Imperfect is not only a contemporary romance, it will also a be an inspiration to many.
I recommend that anyone who has body image issues, self doubt, has been mentally abused, ridiculed, made to feel like they are worthless and beneath others, as well as anyone who knows someone who has been through the above, to read this book. Perfectly Imperfect will inspire hope, self healing and teach you to love yourself first, so you can accept the love others have for you.
Harper Sloan, THANK YOU for writing a book that made me cry, laugh, hope to find my Kane, look at myself and also gave me the strength to be the me I used be, the me that loved myself.
#iAmWillow #LookingForMyKane
4.5 stars
Purchase from:
Amazon US /Amazon UK / /iBooks
About the Author
Harper lives in small town Georgia just a short drive from her hometown of Peachtree City. She (and her 3 daughters) enjoy ruling the house they dubbed ‘Estrogen Ocean’, much to her husband’s chagrin. Harper has a borderline unhealthy obsession with books; you can almost ALWAYS find her with her eReader attached. She enjoys bad reality TV and cheesy romantic flicks. Her favorite kind of hero–the super alpha kind!
Harper started using writing as a way to unwind when the house went to sleep at night; and with a house full of crazy it was the perfect way to just relax. It didn’t take long before a head full of very demanding alphas would stop at nothing to have their story told.
You’re awesome and amazing! I really appreciate you sharing!
Thank you for sharing! I was picked on growing up for being overweight then I found out I have Crohns Disease. Now I am too thin and am criticized for it also. With my recent cancer diagnosis I’ve decided my opinion of me is the one that matters most. Keep being you, you’re someone special!
I remember your review of this book Didi! I also remember what I wrote to you in the comments section. Bought the book because of both of those reasons. Thank you you again for reminding “bullies” that they are bullies and they do hurt other people. What they don’t tell anyone is that they are insecure too! The one thing I would like for insecure people to remember is this:
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY, THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT YOU WILL RUN ACROSS THAT WILL DISLIKE YOU. IT IS A PART OF LIFE. THE HARD THING TO DO IS NOT LET THEIR NEGATIVITY INFLUENCE YOU IN ANY WAY! BEEN THERE AND STILL TRYING TO HEED MY OWN WORDS! BUT I HAVE MUCH SUCCESS TOO! TAKE THAT YOU BULLIES!
I think it’s great that the book helped you and made you turn the mirror on yourself. That’s so awesome and I’m sure the author does a Snoopy Dance whenever she gets responses like this. I just think it would’ve been nice if you had talked more about the book itself and what made it so good.. Just my opinion, not meant to be negative.